Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Coming to the end...

So it occurred to me the a) I haven't blogged in forever and b) I haven't posted anything new about my pregnancy for at least two posts. So hear goes :)

I am 35 weeks and 4 days today. Buba (that's his nickname till we decide on a name for him) is as healthy as ever. He comes term on the 21st of December and his due date is the 11th of January.

Here are the pictures I have of him at the 20 week ultrasound.

He has a cute little nose!!

See his little feet and toes??

If you look closely you can see that he is looking straight at you :). The dark circles are his eyes.

I also thought I would post some pictures of me throughout the pregnancy to show my belly growth ;)

About 20 weeks (left) and almost 30 weeks (right)
30 weeks (left) and almost 32 weeks (right)

32 weeks (left) a little more than 34 weeks (right)
 I only have about 1 1/2 - 4 1/2 weeks left till he comes (1 1/2 till term and 4 1/2 till due date) and I am not sure I am ready. I am definitely ready to see him but not sure about the process to seeing him.

I have been learning about epidurals and natural births and honestly they both scare me to death. On one end I will have to have a tube in my back the whole (which I don't think I could handle) and on the other, would be having no pain meds and just screaming my way through it. I am not sure right now which way I like better.

I know women have been doing this since the beginning of time but I can't fathom how they do it. I am almost considering going natural but then I don't think I could handle the pain. It is healthier for the and helps the process along by not numbing the things that will help you get the baby out. But at the same time, I don't think I could handle the pain. I am just not sure what to do!

Having an epidural would help with the option of the pain but I can't imagine having a tube out my back. I am not really afraid of the needle but more of the things that will come from it. The thought of having something jutting out my back, the numbness, the tingles, the itchiness. I just don't think I could handle all that either.

Such a huge decision to make in such a short time... I always believed myself to be a strong person till this...

I guess the next coming weeks will tell all about who I really am.

I know that I am weak but that through God, I will see my weaknesses become strengths. Giving birth to this child is definitely something that is ordained and watched over by God so I hope that together we can make it through whichever way I choose to do it.

I thank my wonderful husband for his support in all of this, in coming to all my appointments, helping me when times got rough, and being here through it all. I love to see his face light up when he feels Buba kick or move around or have the hiccups. (Yes, Buba has hiccups strong enough to be felt from the outside... poor little guy). I don't know how I would have gotten through all of this with out him, both our families for support, and without my Father in Heaven. I know each and everyone of them loves me and the baby and wants to help out in anyway they can. I just hope I can be strong enough to bear the burden placed upon me.

I am frightened, truly frightened...

I will let you all know what happens next in the coming weeks. We all believe that Buba will be joining us for Christmas this year (which means I have an even shorter time) so you should probably hear from me soon.

Take care and good luck with the rest of finals to those who have them! (I still have one left that I am putting off... sigh)

Until next time!

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